"Mommy, What Are You Finding?"

The title of this post comes from a brilliant 4 year old young man, and since the day that he said it, I have not been able to shake its genius from my mind. His mother was "looking for" her keys, and she was having such a troublesome time locating them. Her son didn't see it that way. He wanted to know what she was "finding", not what she was "looking for".

If you really take the time to ponder these wonderful words from the mouth of a babe, I think you'll see the brilliance in them. The keys were not lost to him, the keys were being found. How many times do we "find" exactly what we are "looking for"? I'll spare you the suspense in case you're not into it. The answer is every time.

I recently had an interesting conversation with a dear friend. She was lovingly chastising me for what I referred to as "testing the Universe". She questioned why I would continue to push because if I continued to do so, then the Universe would give me exactly what I said I wanted. I agree with her on that point. She explained that some people will pull an Angel Card or a Tarot Card, or whatever card, and they won't like the answer, so they pull another. And if that doesn't match what they want, they pull another, and another, and so on, until finally they get something that matches their desire or backs up what they want to hear. That's a lot of work to not listen to the signs we are being given. This could just as easily be a prayer instead of a card, and God instead of the Universe. I hope you won't get caught up in labels. So many times we try so hard to search, or ask, or pray, or pull cards to get something that makes us feel better about our choices or finally gives us what we convince ourselves we want/need to hear.

So what are you finding? The answer is and always will be, exactly what you want. If we want to push and push and push, the Universe, God, or whatever you happen to believe in, may in fact give you exactly what you ask for. Is that the easiest way to our highest good? Maybe, maybe not, but if we choose to act this way, we will always find out sooner or later if it was or was not the easiest path.

I was listening today to a really wonderful man, Francis X. Maguire. He is an amazing storyteller with so much experience, wisdom, and he has had some of the most interesting encounters you have ever heard. JFK, Marilyn Monroe, Colonel Sanders, the list goes on. He recounts a story about an old man that sits at the gate of an old city. A traveler walks up and asks the old man, "What kind of a city is this?" The old man replies, "What kind of a city was it where you came from?" The traveler says, "Oh! It was horrible! I couldn't stand the people! They were so wretched, and I couldn't wait to get out of there." The old man looks at the traveler and coolly states, "Well, that's exactly what you will find here." A second traveler happens upon the city gate and sees the old man. He asks, "Excuse me, sir. Could you tell me what kind of a city this is?" Again, the old man asks, "What kind of a city was it were you came from?" This traveler replies, "Oh! It was wonderful! I loved that city, and I have friends for life there." The old man says, "Well, that's exactly what you'll find here."

The point is, you always get what you're looking for. The 4 year old boy understood that. The fact that it was keys was completely irrelevent to him. It could have been anything, and I know he has an inherently beautiful sense of the cosmic, so I like to believe he has the capacity to grasp this concept on some level.

If you want to see yourself as a bad person, you will find a bad person. If you want to find a bad person in someone you love, or even someone you don't know, you will find that too. If you want to find anger, bitterness, animosity, anxiety, all those things will be there. We can look for the love, peace, compassion, patience and understanding too. It's up to you. It's up to me.

There is another famous quote about how we don't see people as they are, we see them as we are. With whom are you upset, hurt or bitter towards? It's not them. More often than not, it is at ourselves that we need to take a closer look. My good buddy (at least in spirit) Jack Johnson states it interestingly: "we are only what we hate". I think we need to ask ourselves what it is that we hate or hurts us or bothers us. Then I think we need to ask ourselves why those things sit so uncomfortably with us. I believe the answer is always the same: we see those things in ourselves, and we don't want to believe or acknowledge they exist. It's difficult and simple at the same time, but like anything else, it just takes practice. Look for the things you want in yourself, your partner, your family, friends, etc., and you will find those things every time. That's what we need to be "finding", the rest is not to be "looked for".