Love's Prayer

I wrote this some time ago for no one in particular. I just wrote it for Love itself. I have edited it a little bit, but it remains largely unchanged. I just picked it up today as it was calling to me. It is uncanny how it captures so much of what I feel right now and what I want in my life. I guess sometimes we channel things for reasons to be understood somewhere else down the road. I hope it touches you in some way.

Bury me in the abyss of your love
And suffocate the fear in my mind
Let nothing in me breathe
Without the rhythm of your light
Sustain this love with perfect reciprocity
Able to survive separately
But only truly living adjoined
Give this love a perfect peace
As this man works towards his

Together we work in dreams of purpose
In harmony we walk among the living
Vision's of old fill baby's brains
Showing direction on darkened roads
The fear we feel pales in comparison
To the triumph that comes tomorrow
A prize so grand as to burn the eyes
Of those that doubt its splendor

The pit of my stomach patiently aches
With the anticipation of a soldier
Quivering in the bowels of a foxhole
My heart screams in restless ecstasy
As I absorb everything you exhale

Fill us full on this feast of life
And inebriate us with drinks of desire
Let us never thirst or hunger again
But satiate even the smallest of pangs
Overwhelm us while we maintain control
On a roulette wheel completely red
Every bet won, every chip cashed in

We will dance ceremoniously
One with the other
Surpassing dimensions of time and space
Our love lives in infinity
Where only the strongest survive
As we dance each night
And live each day

Home Has My Heart Again

They say that you can never go home again. They also say that home is where the heart is. First off, I don't know who "they" are. I wonder if "they" even know that they are the "they" to which we all seem to refer. So what is this home thing all about? And what if you and your heart are in two different places? Can you go "home" and get back together with your heart if you're not supposed to be able to go home again? What a dilemma!

I understand that home is never the same because unless you're a rock, you grow, you change, and that place of "home" will be different because your perspective is different. I do believe the adage that home is where the heart is. I am separated from my heart right now. I am here, but my heart is there. And that "there" feels like my home. Am I welcome there? I don't know yet. It will definitely be a different home if and when I arrive there once again, as I am certainly undergoing dramatic shifts in perspective, priorities and desires. I have never been separated from my heart before. Sure, as a young man, I thought I had experienced many different losses and longings in love. This is not that. I am not that young, deluded man.

I know where my heart is. I know where my home is. I also know that I am not at home, and I am not with my heart. I'm ready. I want to go home. My happiness is at home. I expect it to be different. I want it to be different. I could not be happy if it was the same. That "sameness" is why I am here and my heart is there. It has no other choice but to be different. I want to go home to a new home. For that is the only way that I can truly be with my heart. That is what I want to allow me to be happy. Home. This is Jon. I'm ready.

A Fairy Tale Rhyme...To Be Continued (At Some Point)

Once upon a time in a land far, far away
There lived a King in the Land of Rhyme
And high upon his throne he sat each day
And each night 'twas blessed with rest divine
His life was complete and he wanted not
With a beautiful Queen at his side and rooms filled with gold
His lands were peaceful with ne'er a battle fought
And each day was pleasant with ne'er a hint of the cold

Then one morning the King awoke to a blanketed land of snow
In dead silence, it crept in throughout the night
And a bitter chill soon followed as the winds began to blow
Our poor King could not comprehend this incredible sight
He sat and pondered the dilemma until the hours grew late
What had gone wrong? Had he committed some crime?
He was confused and bewildered at his land's horrible fate
He sought council from Elders throughout the Land of Rhyme

The King had done no injustice; he had broken no laws
Befuddled, our King raised his hands in despair
And no wise one could give him meaningful reason or cause
He cried for his Queen, "My love, won't you please come here?"
His Queen he trusted, and upon her intuition he often relied
But, alas, she did not answer his beckon call
"Where in the Land of Rhyme could she be?", said he mystified
He searched her chamber and implored the guard in the hall

"Pardon me, my good man, have you seen the Queen today?"
He had not, and the King's confusion grew stronger than before
The King declared a search with a hefty reward to pay
He vowed that he would personally knock on every door
And search as he might, his Queen he could not find
And it seemed no one in the kingdom had seen her at all
The King did not yet realize the place to search was his own mind
For it was his hubris that had caused this tragic fall

The Boy Becomes A Man

"In life, many thoughts are born in the course of a moment, an hour, a day. Some are dreams, some visions. Often, we are unable to distinguish between them. To some, they are the same; however, not all dreams are visions. Much energy is lost in fanciful dreams that never bear fruit. But visions are messages from the Great Spirit, each for a different purpose in life. Consequently, one person's vision may not be that of another. To have a vision, one must be prepared to receive it, and when it comes, to accept it. Thus when these inner urges become reality, only then can visions be fulfilled. The spiritual side of life knows everyone's heart and who to trust. How could a vision ever be given to someone to harbor if that person could not be trusted to carry it out. The message is simple: commitment precedes vision." - High Eagle

I have to say that it's the last line that is and has been striking me to the core lately. I didn't know who High Eagle was five minutes ago. I simply typed "commitment" into a Google search engine. That led me to quotes about commitment. Hence, High Eagle's words. Click on the title if you want more of High Eagle's wisdom. And now, I am finding myself in this exact moment taken aback by the poignancy and power as it pertains to my life.

Commitment means a great deal to me. It hasn't always. I have been a drifter. I have floated through life in many ways, accepting things as they came, not allowing myself to get caught up in different dramas or expectations of others. I think it is safe to say that I have always lived my life to the beat of my own proverbial drummer. In many ways, that has been tremendous for me. In others it has been hurtful, not only to myself but to those who have chosen to involve themselves in my life. I see that clearly right now. I have been able to form my own ideas, live according to my rules, and not worry about those rules to which so many others adhere. That has given me many wonderful qualities as a man. Or has it? Maybe those have been the qualities of a boy?

Commitment makes a man, at least in my new found opinion. I'm done being a boy. I don't have to lose the child to become the man. I don't want to lose the boy. I have always been afraid of that, but I'm seeing for the first time that I have been harboring unwarranted fear. I just have to know when to use the boy and when to use the man. They can each have the time they deserve. I can still be happy without losing or compromising. The time is now for commitment. Sure, this goes along with the "torpedo" post, but this has more for me.

I have not been committed to me. How can I commit to anything when I have not respected myself enough to commit to me? I have not been committed to the idea that I can be successful. That I can have money. That I deserve love. That I am worthy of peace, happiness and family. Why have I committed myself to having to scrape by financially? To struggling with relationships in myriad ways? To operating from a place of lack? Truly, I have stolen from myself my own birthright. A common thief in my own space, in my own mind, in my own life.

Today, this boy is taking back his birthright. Today, this boy is declaring his manhood. Today, from now on and forever, this new man is claiming what he justly deserves. I am deserving of success, money, happiness, love, family, and anything else I healthfully desire in my life. I thought I was a man. Now I know that most of my adult life has been a lie to myself. I was and have been a boy masquerading as a man. The authorization to prance around in self-deceit has been revoked. I will no longer allow that. It's time for balance between the boy and the man. When I am honest with myself, I realize that being a good man is fine, but I have always wanted nothing less then being something great. I am embracing that, and I find myself shaking as I do.

What will this bring? Tears are here, nervousness is here, a little fear finds its way into my mind and heart. And to all those things, I say, "Welcome." As a man, I have room to lovingly embrace all that entails being a man. One of my favorite lines of Shakespeare is from Macbeth. "I dare do all that may become a man; who dares do more is none." Admiration is great. Respect, wonderful. But truth in action is unparalleled. Help me live my truth.

Patience The Virtue

Virtue: a quality considered morally good or desirable in a person.

Well, that is Oxford's definition. You can click on the title of the post for WikiAnswer's reasons for patience being considered a virtue. Somewhat surprisingly to me, I like the answer they give.

Something in which I have always felt particularly strong, or in possession of abundantly, is patience. So, I find it ironic that what I have always felt to be my strongest virtue is suddenly the one thing with which I am struggling the most.

The path is there. I see it clearly. However, my path is not the only one. There seems to be a braiding or intertwining of paths, and mine is my own, but my path is inextricably woven with the paths of others. There is a junction on the horizon, but I can only move down my path. Everything else is beyond my control. I'm praying for more patience despite the exorbitant amount with which I have been graced. I'm ready. I could be a fool, but I could be brilliant. And I know for sure that I am most definitely ready.

The Art Of Listening

Holy crap! What am I hearing right now?

You know, it's one thing to talk about the heart and soul and listening to what they have to say. It is something else entirely to actually take the time to do the listening. And to make matters even more interesting, you then have to assimilate that communication, digest it if you will, for sometimes it definitely seems to be a lot of chewing and swallowing, and then, no, you're not finished yet, then, you have to actually follow through with acting on that sustenance of wisdom and clarity that pours forth from the ethers, or heaven, or God, or whatever your source may be. So, it is not just the listening. It is the courage to pursue the path revealed that culminates in the final implementation and ultimate integration of what was heard.

What?! Yes, I know, I know that is a mouthful. And what is funny to me right now is that no words that I have in my current repertoire could fully explain the dizziness that this has shown me in my head of late. So, I feel happy to have even put that last paragraph together. Boy oh boy.

So, what else? My good buddy Will Shakes would certainly have dubbed this next bit "the rub". Patience is required to allow what needs to unfold, to actually unfold. Fortitude is required to not bow to the pressure and desire to force things, especially if you believe, as I currently do, that you have seen what is to be. Surrender is needed to release the need for control. Faith is needed to believe that all is as it should be, and that all will be as it will be for the highest good as we walk down this road. Quietude is required to maintain peace and serenity. Openness is required to allow the possibility that other doors, as of yet unforeseen, may open to lead down a higher and greater path. Oh, my goodness, I am fortune full!, to play on a phrase. And you thought all you had to do was have a decent set of ears to listen!

So, I listen. I eat. I absorb, assimilate, digest. I integrate, implement, work towards understanding. All to the best of my ability. Seconds? Oh, I'm still working on the firsts, thanks. I am listening. Believe that. My conclusion? My conclusion is that some things may change, but some things will not. I am just trying to listen to the truth. The truth that I know in this moment is that love is constant. Love is changeless. It is without constraint. It is limitless. Love has no boundaries, knows no space or time. I know that Love is redefining for me what is most important. Love just is. It needs no other clarification, description or label. I'm listening. I pray for the things I require to follow the call.

Heart And Soul

Heart and soul, I fell in love with you,
lost control, the way a fool would do,
Gladly...
Because you held me tight,
And stole a kiss in the night..

Heart and soul, I begged to be adored,
Lost control, and tumbled overboard,
Gladly...
That magic night we kissed,
There in the moon mist.

Oh! but your lips were thrilling, much too thrilling,
Never before were mine so strangely willing.

But now I see, what one embrace can do,
Look at me, it's got me loving you,
Madly...
That little kiss you stole,
Held all my heart and soul.

I think that most everyone knows the piano melody of the song "Heart and Soul", but I never realized it actually had lyrics, so I thought I would share them with you. The music was written by Hoagy Carmichael, and the above lyrics were written by Frank Loesser in 1938. I love this song, and, in fact, it's the only thing on the piano I know how to play, and, believe it or not, I know both parts so if you're more comfortable on the left; I can take the right, or vice versa. The title of this song is what has been on my mind lately, including going back to the posting that precedes this one.

Our hearts and souls tell us so much, but how often do we truly listen?

How often are we to repeat the same lessons over and over until something solidifies into a some magical or mystical chrystalline clarity?

How many lives must we lead, how many cycles must we fully ride in this particular given life?

If you know that something resonates with your heart and soul, then why do you fight it, ignore it or refuse to fully embrace it? Do you do those things? Maybe you're a lucky one that always wraps your arms lovingly around everything that life puts in your path.

Consider these words from an interview with Joseph Chilton Pearce by Chris Mercogliano and Kim Debus (click on the title of the post for the full interview):

"Quite literally, in other words, there is a "brain" in the heart, whose ganglia are linked to every major organ in the body, to the entire muscle spindle system that uniquely enables humans to express their emotions. About half of the heart's neural cells are involved in translating information sent to it from all over the body so that it can keep the body working as one harmonious whole. And the other half make up a very large, unmediated neural connection with the emotional brain in our head and carry on a twenty-four-hour-a-day dialogue between the heart and the brain that we are not even aware of."

Simply put, your heart is an amazing communicator and feels emotion. The soul is a matter for debate, but if you're here now, reading this, then you're either in a place that you expect that sort of talk, or you're lost, and I graciously welcome you.

So if you hurt, or your "heart hurts" or your "soul hurts", as many of us have said, then we have to ask ourselves if we listen fully to the communication that our heart and soul are giving to us. And so by contrast, when your heart and soul feel great, then we need to be listening just as intently during those times as well. Esther Hicks, through Abraham, talks about the emotions being a guidance system. Our hearts and souls are always speaking if you buy into the words of Mr. Pearce, but how often do we allow ourselves the quitetude to listen? Sometimes, if we continually fail to listen, they seem to yell, and there is no mistaking it when they do. In the good times, you sing, you dance for what others perceive to be no reason, you beam. Sometimes they yell in the bad times and you fall to floor, you sob, and I mean the heaving sort of sobbing, you scream out almost uncontrollably.

In those times, what just happened in your life? If you change something in your life, ask yourself, "Does this feel good to my heart and soul?" If things are the same in your life, then ask yourself, "Does this current situation feel good to my heart and soul?" Sometimes in this life we meet people, experience things and situations that blow our minds in ways that are good, and sometimes in ways in which we find ourselves lost and confused after the fact.

I believe we have been here doing this, the human experience, for longer than our human mind can conceive. This is not the first go around. If you find something you love and cherish, hold on to it in a healthy way. If something feels destined, meant, or immediately like a long lost friend, then I believe that it is. If, on the other hand, someone, something immediately feels off, then there is a reason. Our hearts and souls are smarter than we are many times. Our minds get full of chatter and noise and distraction. Our hearts and souls feel the truth. So what do you feel? Is it in alignment with your truth?

Heart and soul. There is no higher guidance system for the human body. Are you listening? Or do you let others influence what you follow instead? Do you let fear dictate and have precedence over your heart and soul? If you feel it to be true in your heart and soul, then KNOW it in your head! Don't let anyone or anything else stand in the way of your truth. No one, and I mean no one knows what your heart and soul know. There is no reason, there is no excuse, there is only you. You choose to follow your heart. Not your friends, family, peers, only you can say yes to your heart and soul. So, please, follow your heart and soul. Listen. They are speaking to you even now. Will you acknowledge their insight, or will you continue without heeding their wisdom? It's your heart and soul that are awaiting your enlightenment, not the other way around.

Well, hopefully more days than not, you will be able to find me at the piano listening to my heart and soul. You already know what song we will play when you get there. Just so I'm prepared, did you prefer the right or the left?

Damn The Torpedoes!

Dear reader,
I said this in my last post at the end, but this time I feel it is of the utmost importance to preface this post. This is written to me, to serve as a reminder of the things to which I aspire to adhere in my life. When I say we or you, it makes no difference, it is the same in my view. I pray that it touches you in some way as well.

It was in the Battle of Mobile Bay during the Civil War in 1864 that Admiral David G. Farragut, a commander for the Union forces uttered the famous line, "Damn the torpedoes! Full speed ahead!" (You can click on the title if you want a short history lesson.)

So, it's 2009. 2009 seems strange to say still so early in the year, at least to me thus far. But I find 2009 to be compelling me in a way that no year has done in my life to this point. The phrase that keeps playing itself in my mind over and over like some broken record of a voice long past is, "Stand up!" And I say to you, that now is the time to stand up.

For those of you that enjoy this sort of thing, 2009 = 11. 11 is a Master Number that encompasses things like: illumination, spiritual awareness, vision, grace, high standards, humanitarianism and divine revelation.

I am feeling this is the year to stand up for these things in a way that we have never done before. It is time to stand up and own who we are. Not who we wish ourselves to be, not who we wish we were more like, not that illusion that you keep playing over and over again in your head and your dreams at night that you continually persevere to convince yourself is the truth. I am talking about you. The truth. YOU. That person that you see when all the mind chatter calms itself for some brief moment and you glimpse that beautiful highest person that sits smiling back at you as if patiently waiting for their child to solve the puzzle that is already put together if they could just change their perspective and see the truth. That is who I mean. And now is the time.

We hold so much power, and we deny ourselves this power, and for what? Fear? You already know the quote from Nelson Mandela about our greatest fear not being that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. If you don't know this quote, please, do yourself a favor, find it on the internet, put somewhere you can reference frequently, and allow yourself to be touched by its power. Then, allow yourself the opportunity to fully explore the power you truly possess.

That being said, I am finished sitting on my hands waiting for some great epiphany or beam of light to shine down from the heavens and show me the true path. I am now proclaiming my willingness, my eagerness and my zeal to own my truth, regardless of the torpedoes that might lie in my path. I need nothing more. My heart, my integrity, my purpose and my desire to fulfill my mission will guide me on nothing less then the highest, most illuminating path I might follow. Listen to your heart! Your heart is your truth. Quiet yourself! Listen with intent, with desire, with a willingness to explore the truth no matter how much it may frighten you in your current state of evolution. Stand up! Stand up! Stand up!

Stand up and hold my hand. Let us stand together and for each other. Let us support one another with love and compassion and understanding. Let us find the way to bolster the pursuit of a higher calling for ourselves first, for then, and only then, can we support another. Jesus the Christ said to love your neighbor as yourself. I believe that many interpret that as putting others first, but Jesus the Christ did not live or love as we have come to live and love on this planet. His was said from a point of view of understanding pure, unadulterated energy and love for one's self. My beautiful friend says that we have to have a "selfish love" in order to truly love anyone else, and he is right. Only by truly and fully loving one's self first, can any of us expect to love another, whether it be a son, mother, father, husband, boyfriend or anyone. So, again, I call upon all of us to stand up!

The time has come. Either stand up or do not, the choice is always yours. You can hold my hand and the hands of those around you, or not. We will walk together, or we will walk separately and in different directions, or you could just choose to sit and wait. I, for one, am choosing to stand. I will walk this path. I pray that you will join. There is no more time that I care to waste. Damn the torpedoes! I want to go full speed ahead from now on.