Home Has My Heart Again

They say that you can never go home again. They also say that home is where the heart is. First off, I don't know who "they" are. I wonder if "they" even know that they are the "they" to which we all seem to refer. So what is this home thing all about? And what if you and your heart are in two different places? Can you go "home" and get back together with your heart if you're not supposed to be able to go home again? What a dilemma!

I understand that home is never the same because unless you're a rock, you grow, you change, and that place of "home" will be different because your perspective is different. I do believe the adage that home is where the heart is. I am separated from my heart right now. I am here, but my heart is there. And that "there" feels like my home. Am I welcome there? I don't know yet. It will definitely be a different home if and when I arrive there once again, as I am certainly undergoing dramatic shifts in perspective, priorities and desires. I have never been separated from my heart before. Sure, as a young man, I thought I had experienced many different losses and longings in love. This is not that. I am not that young, deluded man.

I know where my heart is. I know where my home is. I also know that I am not at home, and I am not with my heart. I'm ready. I want to go home. My happiness is at home. I expect it to be different. I want it to be different. I could not be happy if it was the same. That "sameness" is why I am here and my heart is there. It has no other choice but to be different. I want to go home to a new home. For that is the only way that I can truly be with my heart. That is what I want to allow me to be happy. Home. This is Jon. I'm ready.